SLACKJAW

bus tripp

it was a crazy effed up trip on the bus.. the first night i was fucking stressed because i kind of partied my way all the way till tuesday afternoon and nothing packed..so i found myself freaking out pounding packing and shipping all my precious possions into a perfectly packed packages.. at the pace of a speeding mullet.. i even worked up somewhat of a musk type odor.. my man sweat glistening in the moonlight..sexy i know but keep it in your pants.. so we made the bus with seconds to spare jacob kissed off his little french hussie and we rolled out of town thanks to the help of my jewish posse who gave us a lift..
so the first night we talked quite a bit of things to come and made a couple bus buddiess ( the extra s is for sexy) then popped back a healthy dose of dxm.. squirming in the seamen soked seats tripping out to jimmi hendrix type trips all to the beat of the beatles blairing in my brain.. stubled off the bus for ham and cheese mid trip.. then switched busses in bum fuck ontario but were unable to speak full sentances nor walk in a straight line .. which was interesing .. ended up losing my guitar.. which i realised the following morning causing me to adopt turrets for but a day..stopped for ham and cheese again a couple of times during the day.. i chatted up this sensational non french girl from montreal.. the words coming out of my mouth were complete jibberish .. the words coming from my heart were pure gold.. then she started knitting and passed out around 9 .. at which point me and jacob decied that since the bus was practicly empty and everybody was asleep that what the fuck lets take an insane amount of drugs and see what happens.. yay! we shouted as if from a small town where you cousin is most liikely your brother aswell. though we were jonesing for some weed .. but hark. and angel. with three beautifull words.. you got papers? and the smile we got.. ah.. priceless. so we lent him the papers he rolled a joint which we childishly smoked in the bathroom of the bus pushing the smoke out the vent and making farting sounds to avoid suspicion. sat back down.. threw on the headphones . .. i was listening to blue mand group and jacob chemicial brothers.. then it hit us.the last thing i remember is our tattoo friend saying i like opiates. then BAM!. the night went on with us shivering in our seats kicked back and flying through space on a couch sent from god.. i was in the amazon and was king of a tribe. i rode a lion.. then when exploring the mountians. and the rest is kind of a blur..all i remeber is waking up to the sight of jacob pulling me back into reality and in slow motion saying.. doesnt it suck to be sober.. he looked as if a kid on christmas morning eyes gaze hair upright with a smile the size of kentucky.. all he could say is i saw god
and i believed him.. it was by far the most powerfull experience i have had in my life so far..thats when me and jacob concured that the only possible way to describe the experience would be to compare it to high fiveing god.. thus instantly striking us with the inspiration for jacobs tattoo.. he is going to have michelangelos creation of adam .. with him and god in midts of a holy high five.. which i must say kicks sacred ass! the rest of the day however we were out of commision.. i spent much time sleeping and half watching movies.. whist our bus driver MEIN KOMFF! barked us in and out of the bus on a schedual tighter then a virgin anus.. i also spent more time with our buss buddy who ended up following us all the way to manitoba..and who i must admit i actully develloped quite a thing for considering how fucked up i was.. she stunk as bad as i did and i loved it.. and she seemed to think we were pretty damn funny. jacob rolled a joint in the middle of the bustation at 6 am using my snowboard as a table..we got a nice stinky picture of the thee of us .. we ate nothing but ham and cheese from border to border. the third night we had lost our bus buddy..and decided that we should finish the trip the way we started tripping the fuck out. so we found some syrop and dxm"ed it up.. though jacob for some reason didnt get much of a trip.. and kept pulling me out from my god walk.. we ended up stumbling into a gas staton around 3am which was possibly the haredst thing id ever had to do.. i could barely stand it took me 10 min to walk 15 feet.. that moring we rolled into edmonton. still fucked out of our trees . trying to hail a cab at 5am.. scared off a one or 2 till finally jamming all my shit into the only cab that would have us.. but luckily my guitar had found its own way home. which was cool.. we came over to jacobs lady friends house.. ha the shower of the century.. and danced around jumping on the trampoline for the next hour. then finally crashed.. woke up went to see jon. i thought good finally some good sober fun. 10 min later we had smoked 5 joints.and were begining to drool on eachother..
so far since ive been here all we have been doing is smoking up and driving differnt places to get food. i ended up spending christmas with jacobs family because my mom is in calgary.. but my cousin jessy (from quebec) who is down for training came with me and met my family.. we ate like kings. jacobs mom fucking rules.. all i said was. damn a mid noon snack would be fucking awsome.. and poof chocolate caramel popcon a bowls full appears infront of me.. CARAMEL CHOCOLATE FRIGGIN POPCORN!! can you think of a better snack.. i cant.. i wont.. we ate like kings. smoked like giants and went home happy as hell. i got soap from his mom.. appreciaed after the 3 days of not showering.. we spent a couple of nights getting wasted at jacobs me and my cousin. john and jacob. playing video games and just loving ourselves. the way we deserve to be loved. yesterday i went out to jacobs dads and my grandpas for supper.. late supper it turns out.. jacobs dads was fun we all made fun of eacother the way familys do. drank beer played poker and skinnydipped in the hot tub.. i went to my grandpas with my brother and my cousin. my brother said all but 2 words the whole nite.. i spent my time with my cousin stuffing our faces and talking to my grandpa. i never knew the man had such an interesing life and i had no idea..
he was an oil rig engineer who traveled the world.. spent time in africa and england setting up oil lines.. he showed us a tape from africa which they had smuggled out in crates of pipe..we saw his collection of over 600 trucker hats from gas stations and truck stops around the world. whcih by the way i made sure would be my inheritance. i mean come on thats a new hat every day for 2 years.!! we drank some good old fashioned moonshine straight from the tub.. and played a bit of poker. my brother spent a large part of the night playig with a big green balloon.. i think he enjoyed himself.. he giggled and its hard to fake that..so we left a bit early to go pick up jacob and his now uber drunk sister in law.. who was by the way hilarious.. she gave me 3 pina coladas upon my arrival. she was a drunk she liked to drink. but she shared.. which is rare among drunks and one thing i admire about her.. other then that she slured in my ear the rest of the way home while only once stopping to pee on the road. and taking that oppertunity to show us her freshly creamed ass. its good to be home.. though i miss everybody there. more so then i ever expected.. but the future looks exciting if nothing else so i guess ill see what happens..

posted by SlackJaw @ 1:18 PM