SLACKJAW

The fastest math you'll ever do comes right after the moment that the chick you had a one-nighter with about four months ago tells you that she's twelve weeks pregnant.

posted by SlackJaw @ 12:23 AM 0 comments

They're still good!




over the years ive noticed that there are quite a few differences beteween men and women.. now one of the fundementals being that guys have an uncanny ability to hold on to clothing to a point far beyond its passing.. no matter how ragged or how used.. we refuse to throw it away until it can simpy no longer fufill its function.. and even then we sometimes just stash thes relics away .. as if in the future we would have some use for them.. perhaps the cure for cancer lies in pit stains of your nacho mamas t-shirt from highschool gym class.. or the secret to inner happiness in the moldy sould of you old rebock pumps that just dont pump anyomre.. well being of the male persuasion i too have a few of said object .. some stashed away .. and some like this fancy pair of simpsons boxers . are in fact still in use.... now theres always a question as to how long you can actully get away with wearing something like that.. now for me today the coice was made quite simple you see... now i can handle someone call me crap shoes because as the souls of my favorite sneakers bounce in stride as i walk down the street.. or the dirty looks from the soccer moms on the metro as they catch a glimpse of my inner thigh due to a convieniantly located hole in the crotch of my jeans.. but when somebody acuses you of sporting a man thong as you bend over at work.. becase your favorite boxers are haning on by a mere thread at the crack of your ass.. well then it becomes all too clear that the dream is over and its time to say farewell to your faithfull underpants.. even though it hurts and parting is never easy.. you can always stash them away and hope for a cure for cancer.. or perhaps if you give it enough time you can beat victorias secret to the punch .. and be the king of grunge fasion once again..

posted by SlackJaw @ 4:23 AM 1 comments

Diabolical...

posted by SlackJaw @ 4:06 AM 0 comments

Lesson learned

Woke up way too fucking late.. about 12 min before i had to leave typically me.. so i darted out of my room (after checking all my usual porn sites for activity of course) and jumped in the shower like a bat out of barrhead( my own version of hell) and was getting jiggy to the soultry sounds of americain idol clay aiken..who has recently become my hero.. oh how id love to lick his nipples. but thats a story for another time.. so all juiced up on aiken i hop out of the shower .. and plant my freshly washed foot directly into a steamy pile of cat shit! now a few things are running through my mind at this point.. first fuck!! second.. how the fuck! followed by fucking cat!! mother fucker and other words that are too vulgar to mention.. it had appeared that in my haste i had missed said steamy surprise at the foot of the tub.. now the funny thing about this is that yesterday i had accidently (operative word here) locked my roomate out of the house while she was sunbathing in her bikini..could have happened to anybody.. but having discovered her vengefull letter on tne fridge that nite.. i somehow doubt she felt the same way.. so was this the vengance i was to least expect?.. cat poop on my fresthly soaped foot.. i laughed a bit.. washed off the feces and went about my day.. lesson learned..

posted by SlackJaw @ 2:41 AM 0 comments