SLACKJAW

The man with no knows 

posted by SlackJaw @ 2:47 AM 0 comments

Back you vultures!

well i just spent the last 3 hours writing up an email to matt good.. so im all out of things to say... so back off vultures! none the less i have a couple of spare jokes for just such an occasion.. so enjoy!

WARNING!

Never... NEVER look a retarded person directly in the eyes. Because once you do, they'll come running at you fists and elbows. And you'll be screaming "No! No!" - but all they can hear is "Who wants cake?"
...and they all want cake.

posted by SlackJaw @ 2:40 AM 0 comments

I pledge allegiance to the dice... 

posted by SlackJaw @ 2:38 AM 0 comments

We aren't responsable for that!

I was confronted with a new class of asshole the other day... well the story starts out when i decided to meet my friend amanda, who was down from kamloops (meth capitol of north america.. well so says cbc news ), anyways i was a bit early, as i usaly am to most non academic events.. so i decide hey... why not have a look around the mall.. im too broke to buy anything, but they don't know that...so i trek past the various clothing stores, lingerie stores... shady porn shops and telus booths..and end up in eb games.. seeing what the newest games are.. cause well since playstation 2 and x box came out..i haven't really touched a video game. so ive got the shins blasing in my ears.. (well as loud as the shins can blast..) boping my worries away.. and all of a sudden i hear this somewhat incorerant whine.. almost like when you accidently change the channel when some little kid is watching teletubbies.. yeah that oh shit what have i done shrill reaches my ears.. and im like ok.. somebody died..so i take a look and see some guy leaning over the counter scowel faced and ready to pounce...meanwhile this suit behind the counter just looks like hes seen rosanne bars naked ass.. I laugh.. still a bit wide eyed ... and start listening to the story ... not as if i had much choice considering the store was only about the size of my bathroom.. anyways turns out he's pissed cause he ordered a game.. that was supposed to come out on monday and it wasn't there yet.. so he wanted to take the store demo.. and the suit is like dude thats illegal i cant just give you our demo. you'll just have to wait a couple of days ...So the dice monkey starts raging.. ``I paid for this shit! i was supposed ot have it monday! its friday.. where the hell is my game ! this is bullshit!!!`` so i start cracking up!..he looks at me kind of funny. but i wave him through to continue ripping this poor desk jockey a new asshole...and he does.. so the guy starts calling up shipping companies. and bosses and bosses of bosses. notthing.. so the raging nerd as i like to call him.. just sits there tapping his foot and cowling at this poor guy..it was pretty obvious that he had planned his whole weekend around this game and was most likely going to die if it wasnt in his hands within the next 15 min... which of couse didn't happen so he ended up storming out with a refund a pout on... and his 20 sided dice..

god.. i could understand if it was some rare imported porn or somehing.. but this asshole just made me laugh... i felt like smacking him in the back of the head. and saying go back to your lair dongeon master!

posted by SlackJaw @ 1:31 AM 0 comments

Feel the groove 

posted by SlackJaw @ 1:30 AM 0 comments

Episode 1

The begining of an atrocity...

well i guess i've put this off long enough...i was holding out till i could get this blog to look the way i wanted it.. but to hell with it.!. i have too much to say .. and too many people to offend.. well first id like to dedicate all the insanity .. and future lawsuits to one verry special person.. who is the main inspiraton for this ... they know who there are.. or they will soon.. but anyways enough with the pleasentries and on with the good stuff!!

posted by SlackJaw @ 1:05 AM